Help! My cofounder has ADHD

The Entrepreneurial Context

We hear a lot about how to support employees who struggle with ADHD. There is advice on how to understand them, how to help them meet requirements, and generally how to empower their different ways of thinking and doing. But what happens when ADHD is impacting your business's leader? Meet Jill. Jill is a co-founder in a tech startup that I am coaching. Her co-founder, John, is driving her crazy. Being a clinical psychologist as well as founder coach, I have seen the upsides and downsides of ADHD brain wiring and its impact on leadership and relationships. Jill and John's issue is common in the startup world. Research suggests that Approximately 30% of founders have ADHD symptoms.

The ADHD Leader's Strengths

John is brilliant. He's a visionary. He is creative. He is energetic and inspiring. He is innovative. He is risk tolerant. He's a quick thinker. He makes decisions quickly. He's a great problem solver. He has boundless energy and drive. He is passionate about everything he does. He is resilient and tenacious. He is highly effective in high-risk/stress situations. He is imperative to the success of the business. He is the visionary and big picture thinker. He is responsible for product development. He is the face of the company, and he rocks at sales. He does most of the pitching to future investors and potential customers.

The Leadership Challenges

But he does not pay close enough attention to important details. He forgets to return important phone calls, like to future investors. He has difficulty responding to team members in a timely fashion. He misses deadlines, which can be costly to the business. He struggles to maintain an orderly calendar. Sometimes he spaces out in meetings and misses information that he needs to do his job. Planning, in general, is a challenge. He makes impulsive decisions. Recently he impulsively bought some product that the company did not really need. He lives in the moment, often failing to factor in past and present events. He is reactive and tends to manage by crisis. Work can feel dramatic for everyone around him, and not in the fun or entertaining way.

Impact on Co-Founder Dynamics

Jill is personally and professionally impacted by John's challenges with John's ADHD challenges and behaviors. John's deficits create an upper limit on how well they can lead and manage a team and how well they can grow a company. The business is less efficient. Her work is more difficult. She feels like she has to micro-manage. She often feels like she has most of the responsibility in the company. She is not able to do her best work because her energy is being drained by having to compensate for John's challenges and missteps. It's not uncommon for co-founders to fall into a "parent-child" dynamic where the non-ADHD partner feels responsible for the everything and the ADHD partner feels like a child.

Strategic Solutions

1. Build Understanding

Understand that John's behavior is not personal. Jill would benefit from doing a bit of research or reading on ADHD. The National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH) posts easily readable information. This would be helpful in her understanding why John is the way he is and guide her toward more compassionate and patient ways of relating to him.

2. Improve Communication

ADHD communication hacks: Be clear. Avoid long sentences with multiple steps in one sentence. Repeat and rephrase. Ask the ADHD partner for clarification and repetition. Communicate face to face when possible. Keep meetings brief. Keep emotions out of the conversation. Prompt, but do not nag.

3. Establish Structure

Routines, schedules, and visual planners help people with ADHD to know what to expect, stay on task, and complete important tasks. Put things on paper so he/she does not have to remember. Use whiteboard calendars in meetings. The more senses are engaged, the more someone with a neurotypical brain will register the information.

4. Optimize Task Management

• Chunk issues that need attention

• Delegate mundane or tedious work when possible

• Create an orderly office environment

• Set up structures and systems

• Get professional support when needed

The Path Forward

I watched how the implementation of these strategies helped Jill and John create a more effective and efficient business operation, and how their partnership has become more powerful. The conversations were not always easy. Team members have been calmed by clarity and teams have become more aligned. Collaboration has increased. Grumbling has decreased. Clear communication and expectations has resulted in tasks being completed faster. Information has been more readily and efficiently shared. Fund raising seems to have become smoother. Scaling a business always involves founders growing into themselves as leaders, owning their own brilliance and vulnerabilities and being willing to learn new skills.